I Confess — I Was a Mean Older Brother

Sibling Rivalry and the Pecking Order

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of family live.  There is a natural pecking order where the older children pick on the younger ones. 

Fortunately for me, the first child in our family was my older sister who was very sweet and nice. (Except for a couple times when she almost killed me.) 

My younger brother was not so fortunate.  I got sadistic pleasure playing tricks on him. After all, I was the middle child, and we feel a “compulsion towards attention-seeking behavior.” 

(Since I am currently in Utah visiting my brother, I thought it was a good time to confess.)

Contest to Hit the Softest

I once told my younger brother, “Let’s have a contest to see who can hit the other person in the shoulder the softest.” “Okay.” “You go first.”

He gently tapped my shoulder. I barely felt it.  I cocked my arm and punched him in the shoulder with my might.  I grinned and said, “You win.”

Contest to Drink a Milk Shake the Fastest

My brother and I played handball in an outdoor cement court during the summer.  We were soaked in sweat.  We were very thirsty and hungry. We drove to McDonald’s and ordered large shakes.

As we sat down, I said, “Let’s have a contest to see who can drink their shake the fastest.”  “Okay.”  “On your mark.  Get set.  Go!

I put the straw in my mouth and casually watched while he guzzled his shake.  I said, “You win.”  I sat there slowly savoring my shake while he watched in frustration.

The VW Parking Brake

My brother was a very hard worker. During high school, he was a night closing manager at a McDonalds.  He saved his money and bought a beautiful yellow VW bug.  It was a dream car. He was very proud of it.

I was jealous.  I had a beat-up old hand-me-down faded high-mileage Plymouth sedan.

One day my brother graciously offered to take me for a ride in his new car. As we started off, I slowly lowered my left hand to the parking brake.  I held the break and pushed the release button.

As we accelerated from a stop sign, I slowly raised the parking brake.  The car bucked as he tried to accelerate.  After a few moments I slowly released the brake, and we went on our way.

At the next stop sign, I slowly raised the brake again.  The car bucked as he pressed the gas and released the clutch.  He started to sweat.

He finally exclaimed in exasperation, “There something wrong with my car!”  I laughed and confessed. He punched me in the shoulder.  I deserved it.


I am very proud of, and love, my “little” brother.  We have a good relationship.

But now that I am visiting him, I am starting to feel the old compulsion to get attention by playing another prank on him.  He is still nicer than me. But he is also younger, bigger, faster, AND stronger.  So, I will try to control myself.

(Stories and Articles at: http://www.londonedition.net)

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