Defendant: “I am a God! You are a mere mortal!”

“Court Case Friday”

One afternoon I had a large group of prisoners in the “cage” in my courtroom. I started advising them of their constitutional rights. One of the women suddenly interrupted me and screamed, I don’t recognize you. I thought to myself, I don’t’ recognize you either. She continued:

Defendant: I am a God! I don’t recognize you, and I don’t recognize your jurisdiction! You are a mere mortal! I am a god! I only recognize two mortals, Washington and Lincoln.

Judge: [I couldn’t resist] What about Thomas Jefferson? He’s the Father of the Declaration of Independence. You’ve got to recognize him!

Defendant: “I don’t recognize him. He’s a mere mortal. I am a god. I only recognize Washington and Lincoln.”

Judge:“What about James Madison? He’s the Father of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. You’ve got to recognize him!”

Defendant: “No, he’s just a mere mortal. I am a god. I don’t recognize him either. I only recognize Washington and Lincoln.”

Judge: “What about John Adams? You’ve got to recognize him!

Defendant: [Pointing her finger at me and sneering] “You are starting to annoy me!  You are a mere mortal. I am a god. You are weak. I am strong. I am a god. I don’t recognize you, and I don’t recognize your jurisdiction!”

Judge: “Very well, I’m appointing the public defender to represent you and setting your case for trial.”

Three weeks later, I saw the public defender who was assigned to this woman’s case.  I asked him how it was going.  He said, “Awful!  She wouldn’t cooperate with me because she is a god, and I am a mere mortal.” Then he added, “She only recognized three mortals.” 

“Three mortals?” I inquired. 

“Yes, Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson.”

Apparently, I had made a lasting impression. Next time, I will try to get her to recognize Madison.  

(www.londonedition.net)

(A personal favorite, and popular, court case. Posted 3 years ago, but worth repeating.)

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