“Court Case Friday”
DUI cases are among the most tragic and the most entertaining.
Drag Racing While Drunk
I handled a case in my court where a young man was charged with both driving under the influence (DUI) and engaging in a speed contest (street racing). The case was unique. I had never seen those two charges in the same case before.
The defendant pulled up to a red light in his brand-new Dodge Challenger. Next to him was another brand-new Dodge Challenger. The defendant got excited and decided to challenge the other driver to a race.
The defendant was so excited to race his new car that made two crucial mistakes. First, he didn’t ask the other driver what size engine he had. The other driver had a large V-8. The defendant only had a V-6.
The second mistake – the defendant didn’t look in his rear-view mirror. Stopped directly behind him at the light was a black and white patrol car.
Bad news, bad news. The defendant lost the race, and he was arrested for DUI and illegal racing.
DUI with a Blown Tire
I had a case where the DUI defendant was driving about 50 miles an hour on a major four lane roadway. His right front tire was blown out and completely shredded. He kept slamming into the right curb after which he kept pulling back into traffic. When the police officer pulled him over, the defendant blurted out, “Officer, there seems to be something wrong with my car. I think it is out of alignment.”
The Naked DUI Driver
An officer pulled over a suspected drunk driver. When the driver stepped out of the car, he was completely naked, except for his socks, which were purple. The curious officer asked, “Where are your clothes?” He replied, “I don’t know. I have too many girlfriends.” I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.
The Vulgar Alphabet
In another case of mine, when the officer asked the DUI suspect to recite the alphabet, he replied, with an intense indignant tone, “a, b, c, d, e, f, u!”
The Double DUI
A woman was driving under the influence northbound on a multi-lane road in a large shopping district. Another woman was driving under the influence southbound on the same road near the same place. The first woman decided to turn left into the shopping center on the opposite side of the road. She entered the broken line center divider in order to make her turn. At the same time, the second woman going the opposite direction decided to turn left into the other shopping center on the opposite side of the road. She entered the broken line center divider to make her turn. You guessed it. They crashed into each other head on. Both were arrested for DUI. Fortunately, because of air bags, neither person was injured.
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