My criminal law professor started each class by bellowing: “Criminals Are Stupid.” He then shared a dumb-criminal account from the media. This is one reason criminal defense attorneys are reluctant to put their clients on the witness stand during trial. The experienced prosecutor can’t wait to cross-examine them. As a young prosecutor, I was prepared … Continue reading Criminals Aren’t the Only “Dumb” People in Court
I prosecuted a man for misdemeanor obstructing police. (PC 148(a)) The dumb defendant walked up to a canine police officer on the Huntington Beach pier and declared: “Your dog doesn’t scare me!” He then bent down, grabbed the police German Shepherd by both ears, went nose-to-nose with the dog, and yelled, “Growl!” The police dog … Continue reading Man Taunts Police Dog and Pays the Price
I was involved in the prosecution of a serial rape case. The “perp” wore a knit ski mask making eye witness identification impossible. (This was before DNA). As he was committing the crime, the victim noticed a homemade prison tattoo on the inside of his bicep. The tattoo stuck in her mind because it said, … Continue reading Caught and Convicted Because of His Misspelled Tattoo
I have handled a lot of high publicity cases during my judicial career. I have received more publicity than I ever wanted. Fortunately, most of my publicity has been positive. Even more fortunately, I have met my goal of staying off the editorial page. One high publicity case was the result of a juvenile prank. … Continue reading Tragic Case of the Movie Theater Prank
Some criminals are dumber than others. I prosecuted some of the dumbest ones. An Orange County city had a problem with drug sales in a high-density area. So, the police decided to do a surveillance using their unmarked old beat up surveillance van. Three officers drove in the van to the target location. There was the … Continue reading Dumb Criminal Tries to Steal Undercover Police Van with Cops Inside
Juvenile Burglars with Stocking Hands I prosecuted a couple of teenagers for attempted residential burglary. As a police officer was driving down a residential road while on routine patrol, he noticed a new bicycle lying on its side on the sidewalk. He was an experienced officer with keen instincts. He knew that school was in … Continue reading More Dumb Criminals
I am continually amazed at how often people make bad situations worse. We see this very often when people flee the scene of an accident, evade a police officer, or fail to show up for their traffic tickets. I was presiding over a misdemeanor jury trial. The defendant was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence, violation of … Continue reading Another Entertaining Dumb Criminal Makes Matters Much Worse
The Defendant Inadvertently Confesses During Trial I presided over a jury trial where the defendant had sold drugs to an undercover police officer. As we started with testimony, the prosecutor called the undercover officer as his first witness. As the officer walked up to the stand, the defendant jumped up, pointed at the cop, and … Continue reading 2 More Dumb Criminals
"We don't catch the smart ones." The Man with Too Many Wrong AKAs I arraigned an in-custody felon with simple drug possession. At the time of his arrest, he gave the name of “Juan Aguilar Guzman” with a date of birth of 6/28/73. When the police ran the information through the computers it turned out … Continue reading Another Dumb Stupid Criminal
"We don't catch the smart ones." “Dumb and Dumber” and “Dumbest” Under California’s “three strikes” law at the time, if a defendant committed two serious or violent felonies in the past, if he commits a new felony, no matter how minor, he faces a mandatory 25 years to life in prison. (Some California DA’s Offices … Continue reading More Entertaining Dumb Criminals
The London Edition 