One of the most stressful things for trial attorneys is the unpredictability of judges. One of the most stressful things for judges is the unpredictable trial attorneys and their clients. Although almost all of my courtroom articles are from my personal experience there is one New York judge, whose unpredictable sentencing hearing, is one of … Continue reading Judge Physically Attacks the Defendant in Court
(Caution: Mild Adult Content) I had a very entertaining jury trial that completely caught me and the jurors off guard. The defendant was charged with being under the influence of methamphetamine. We had impaneled the jury and the district attorney (DA) called as his first witness, an emergency room nurse. The following dialogue took place: … Continue reading "My Balls Have Exploded"
When criminal defendants appear in my court by themselves, I ask, “Do you have an attorney?” Most defendants request a continuance, so they can hire a lawyer, or they ask me to appoint the public defender to represent them. Occasionally, I get a defendant who stands erect and proudly proclaims, “God is my lawyer!” or … Continue reading “Jesus is My Lawyer”
The Rude Angry Traffic Offender One of our judges shared coffee in chambers every morning with one of the local police department's transportation officers who brought prisoners to the courthouse each morning. They became good friends. The day the officer retired, he and some judges, clerks, and bailiffs decided play a prank on the judge. The officer … Continue reading 2 More Major Judicial Pranks
Selling Drugs to an Officer in Uniform If criminals are dumb, then young inexperienced juvenile criminals are the dumbest. I prosecuted a very dumb teenage marijuana dealer. A police officer was on patrol near the parking lot of a high school in Huntington Beach, CA. The officer was in full uniform and driving a marked black … Continue reading More Stupid Criminals