Judge Physically Attacks the Defendant in Court

One of the most stressful things for trial attorneys is the unpredictability of judges.  One of the most stressful things for judges is the unpredictable trial attorneys and their clients. Although almost all of my courtroom articles are from my personal experience there is one New York judge, whose unpredictable sentencing hearing, is one of … Continue reading Judge Physically Attacks the Defendant in Court

"My Balls Have Exploded"

(Caution: Mild Adult Content)  I had a very entertaining jury trial that completely caught me and the jurors off guard.  The defendant was charged with being under the influence of methamphetamine. We had impaneled the jury and the district attorney (DA) called as his first witness, an emergency room nurse. The following dialogue took place: … Continue reading "My Balls Have Exploded"

“Jesus is My Lawyer”

When criminal defendants appear in my court by themselves, I ask, “Do you have an attorney?” Most defendants request a continuance, so they can hire a lawyer, or they ask me to appoint the public defender to represent them. Occasionally, I get a defendant who stands erect and proudly proclaims, “God is my lawyer!” or … Continue reading “Jesus is My Lawyer”

2 More Major Judicial Pranks

The Rude Angry Traffic Offender One of our judges shared coffee in chambers every morning with one of the local police department's transportation officers who brought prisoners to the courthouse each morning. They became good friends. The day the officer retired, he and some judges, clerks, and bailiffs decided play a prank on the judge. The officer … Continue reading 2 More Major Judicial Pranks