My Top 5 Complaints and Suggestions for God

“Commentary” & “Fun Facts”

At the risk of being struck by lightning, I have a list of complaints and suggestions for God on how He could improve things. I’m sure He won’t mind. After all, “nobody’s perfect.”

Number 1. Dogs

Dogs don’t live long enough. This is my number one complaint.  It wounds my heart every time one of my “puppies” passes away.  If parrots and turtles can live a hundred years, why not dogs?  We should be able to bequeath our dogs to our favorite children and grandchildren in our wills. (Of course, that might increase probate litigation.) In short, dogs should outlive their owners, before before their dogs go to heaven.  

Numer 2. Avocados

I finally pick the perfectly ripe avocado in the store, only to find 90% of it is an inedible pit.  They’re huge!  Why can’t avocados have little seeds like apples.   

Number 3. Lemon Trees

Each of my fruit trees ripens all at once.  Most of the fruit is given away, eaten by birds, rats, and opossums, or rots on the ground.  But not our lemon tree!  It produces gobs of ripe lemons year-round.  I like lemons, but who can eat that many? “A dozen a day keeps the doctor away?” Why can’t other fruit trees be more like lemons? “Something’s wrong with this picture.” 

Number 4. Mosquitoes

Wipe out mosquitoes! Why are there mosquitoes anyway? I am allergic to them. I know it’s not “all about me,” but mosquitoes are the deadliest animal on the planet.  They transmit malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, West Nile virus, and encephalitis. Mosquitos kill up to 1 million people each year. I can’t figure out why they were even created, except to “try and torment man.”  

Number 5. Rain

Why does rain have to be so unpredictable?  It ruins picnics and baseball games. It washes yucky stuff into the ocean. It causes accidents on the freeway. Too little rain causes drought.  Too much rain causes flooding. I think it should rain every Thursday night. We can enjoy the sound of rain as we go to sleep.  Homeowners and farmers wouldn’t need to water. It would put fresh snow on the mountains and clear out the air pollution for the weekend.

I have other complaints and suggestions but these are my Top Five.


I an attempt to avoid being struck by lightning I hereby issue the following disclaimer: “Despite my insignificant complaints and suggestions for God, I am truly grateful for the plethora of blessings I have received from the Lord. I am awed by God’s goodness and grace.

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