The Dumb Defendant Destroys his Defense (Too many alliterations?) One year, a man came to rob a gas station mini-mart. He walked up to the counter, put his hand in his pants pocket under his untucked shirt, and said to the cashier, “I have a gun, give me all your money.” The young cashier was … Continue reading More Entertaining Stupid Criminals
Little Bo Peep Comes to Court I was presiding over the high-volume misdemeanor arraignment calendar when a middle-aged woman came into my courtroom dressed like Little Bo Peep. She had a tall white wig, and she wore a white floor length gown. She wore a light blue bow on her head, and she had a matching … Continue reading Very “Eccentric” Criminals
When I started teaching my Advanced Constitutional Law Class on Law and Religion, I had no idea about the volume of issues and cases involved. There was enough material to quickly fill my 750-page textbook, “Religion and Law: Cases and Materials.” Moreover, there was enough new information that, after ten years, I was on my … Continue reading Don’t Take Grandma’s Ashes to School
Selling Drugs to an Officer in Uniform If criminals are dumb, then young inexperienced juvenile criminals are the dumbest. I prosecuted a very dumb teenage marijuana dealer. A police officer was on patrol near the parking lot of a high school in Huntington Beach, CA. The officer was in full uniform and driving a marked black … Continue reading More Stupid Criminals
The Drunk Groom I performed a wedding on the grounds of a beautiful restaurant overlooking scenic Dana Point Harbor in Orange County, California. The restaurant is built on the side of a cliff and it is very difficult to find. Everyone was set, except for the bride. A limo was bringing her. We waited and waited. No bride. … Continue reading More Embarrassing Wedding Glitches
My criminal law professor started each class by shouting, “Criminals are stupid!”He would then share a dumb criminal story. Clearly, not all criminals a stupid. But a lot of them are. As detectives observe, “We don’t catch the smart ones.” I have prosecuted or judged so many dumb criminals that there will be several blog posts … Continue reading Stupid Criminals
The founding fathers and mothers were convinced that victory over the invincible British Empire was the result of Divine Providence. (See Blog Post: “The Divine Birth of the American Nation.) One of the miracles they cite is the successful retreat from the famous Battle of Cowpens. On January 17, 1781, General Daniel Morgan and the Americans … Continue reading Miraculous Retreat from the Battle of Cowpens
As a judge, I volunteered to perform weddings. Since I was a criminal law judge, weddings were a welcome change of pace. Conduct wedding ceremonies was about the only thing I did where most people were happy. I performed several hundred over thirty years. I conducted these ceremonies in my courtroom, in chambers, at wedding chapels, on … Continue reading Embarrassing Wedding Glitches
While serving my mission in Britain, I visited the island of Jersey off the coast of France. This is where the Jersey cows come from. The neighboring English island of Guernsey is where the Guernsey cows originate. On the coastal road on Jersey, high above the rocky shore, is a plaque dedicated to “Geoffrey’s Leap.” I use … Continue reading Jury Selection Speech: Trial by Combat and Ordeal
The founding fathers and mothers were convinced that victory over the British Empire was the result of Divine Providence. (See Blog Post: “The Divine Birth of the American Nation.") One of the miracles they cite is the capture of Fort Ticonderoga. The famous fort at Ticonderoga was strategically placed along Lake Champlain. There, it controlled … Continue reading Miraculous Capture of Fort Ticonderoga
The London Edition 